August 12, Wednesday, 2009, 9.2 (First love, Jessie visits)

Matt and high school buddies

Today was one of the best days I’ve had in years!! Jessie came from Green Bay to pick me up after work.  Wow, how amazing it was to see this girl after seven years, to the month in Fact!!  The last I saw Jessie was Aug. 3, 2002.  The first sight of her, wow, she looks spectacular!  A little thin, but not un-healthy at all, glowing she was, absolutely beautiful and stunning just like she was before. She was so bubbly and happy too, it was so amazing to see her face, I never thought that I would again.

She took me to Green Bay and we immediately smoked some very good weed when we got to her place.  We just talked and talked, about everything from people we knew, to places we had gone, to everthing we’d done in seven long years. IT FELT SO GOOD to talk with this soul, this beautiful human spirit.  She showed me pictures, I showed her mine.

I can see that she is so happy now, so much in love with this Nate, a really nice guy.

I was just continually struck by this young lady’s happiness, and also that she had worked so hard and had finally attained success!  She told me (quite proud, great for her!) that she has $20,000 in the bank that she never touches.  She may even buy a home!  We ate breakfast with_____ (she was a little on the quiet side) but it was fun nonetheless.  I was feeling great all day seeing these two ghosts from my past, and seeing that they were both doing so incredibly well.

I smoked with Jess all day, we drove to see some nature preserve, a waterfall which was dry, and Green Bay looked magnificent!  The day was so perfect!  It was spectacular.

I feel sad now after she dropped me off.  I feel bad that here I am, doing so poorly while my comrades are so happy.  I’m not jealous or envious, just wish I was up there with them, happy also.  I hope to keep up with Jessie now.  I really hope I can!

Intake:  65 mg hydroco, oral, smoked all day

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